i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
