Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
