So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
