I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
