Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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