My nipple is on Facebook.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
