awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
