dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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