He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
