it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
