hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
