Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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