so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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