If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
