Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
