i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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