But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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