I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
