Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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