great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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