Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
