Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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