I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My bed smells like the plague
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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