Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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