Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
