Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
