Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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