I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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