i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
