and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
