Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
