I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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