The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
