hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
As shirtless as possible
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
