He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
