my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
