Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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