My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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