I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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