She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
