He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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