Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
