Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
