Plan B is the new Plan A
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
