only if we run a train.
done.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
