Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
