Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
