My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
