This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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