with your own penis?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
