So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
