Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
